Until next time,
IFBB Figure Pro
Contest Prep Coach
Mental Game Coach
Until next time,
IFBB Figure Pro
Contest Prep Coach
Mental Game Coach
Happy 2015! I am super excited for all that I have planned to create this year. I am starting this year off with a bang with my newest eBook: The Congruency Continuum. I will be doing a SIX week coaching circle in conjunction with the eBook. I am very excited for all that I am able to include in this program.
Setting goals is simply the first step, after that we need to get congruently lined up with our goals. In the Six Week Congruency Circle, I will be taking a small group of ten people, and we will be taking your top 3 goals and making sure that you are congruent so that they not only appear on a piece of paper, but are brought into the real world.
This program is a series of 6 weekly phone coaching calls along with lots of goodies handed out each week. Including my new book: The Congruency Continuum, Starting Your Journey hypnosis session, Stress release hypnosis session, Release Negative Emotions hypnosis session, Healthy Body hypnosis session and more. I will conclude the six week course with many ways you can test for congruence including using the pendulum. FUN STUFF!!! If you only get congruent about one thing right now, make it be taking this course. I promise you, you will be glad you did. Register today, I am only taking on a small group of ten. www.congruencycontinuum.com
Step 2: Think of a candy that you really like, but you want to avoid eating. You will do the same process as described in step one. Think about several factors regarding this food in your minds eye. Where is this food spatially located? Go ahead and gesture there now. Is it large or small? Is it color or black and white? Is it moving or still? Are there any noises associated with it? Do you get a feeling when you think of that food?
Step 1: Think of an internal conflict you are having. For example, on the one hand I want to do one thing, but on the other hand, I want something else.
Step 2: Get two sheets of paper and write out the two sides of the conflict. Place one sheet in front of you to your left, and the other sheet in front of you, to your right.
Step 3: Step into one side. Think about the conflict from this perspective. What is important to you about this perspective? And when you have ________, what is even more important. Keep asking the same question. And when you have that what is more important. You will soon come to a core state such as self love, oneness, belonging, existing, freedom or something similar.
Step 4: Step into the other side of the conflict and repeat the previous steps.
Step 5: Take a step back and from this vantage point see how each part wants something similar. What is that?
Step 6: As you think about the similarities between each parts, face your hands toward each other and continue to appreciate how they are more similar than different. If it feels right, bring your hands together to complete the integration.
When thinking about a journey with a destination, whether that is stepping on stage for a competition, getting a degree, planning a wedding, or losing weight for a summer vacation, there are two parts to that journey. The first part is the actual plan of the journey. For competition dieting that would be the training program and the nutrition plan, as well as the day to day implementation of that plan. For example our trips to the gym and our daily management of meals. However, there is also a second, more subtle part to the journey, and that is our internal representation of how we are experiencing that journey. In other words, our personal, subjective experience of the journey.
How we experience the journey is even more important than our ability to follow through with the plan. Let’s take competition, for example, when you actually get to the show, virtually everyone is in shape, are they not? Then what makes the difference between the winning physique and the not-so winning physique? Think about the difference between a confident competitor, one that is walking in confidence, gliding across the stage, exuding physical perfection as well as emotional confidence. Then, consider the competitor with her shoulders slouched over, just ever so slightly, and a little less bounce in her step. There are differences that can be attributed to more practice, however, we really can tell what is going on in someone’s mind when they are on stage. When someone feels good, simply put, they look good!
Exploring the World of Subjective Experience
This month I have a very important topic to discuss. It is no longer acceptable to be a victim of our own thoughts and emotions without the ability to change them. For those of us who are interested in making our dreams a reality, it is important not only to line up the plan but to line up our minds to the plan. It is important not only to understand what needs to get done to achieve our goals, but what thoughts are conducive to that achievement. I am not talking about motivational messages, or vision boards or taking five minutes a day to visualize your world the way you want. I am talking about how your world is represented in your mind.
So what exactly do I mean by subjective experience? Let me first start by expressing to you what subjective experience is not. It is not how you feel or what you are thinking about, rather it is how specifically you are thinking. For example if you tell me that you feel sad, you represent that in your mind’s eye in a very specific way. You may be talking to yourself; you may be seeing a picture or you may be feeling something specific such as a burning sensation in a very specific location that lets you know to code that experience as sad. The feeling of sad is just a way to express all that is going on in your subjective experience.
The value of understanding our subjective experience is that when we are thinking in ways that are not conducive to achieving our goals, we can change those experiences. For example, let’s say you are getting ready for competition and you feel a general bad feeling every time you go online and look at other competitor’s pictures via social media. The reasoning you had for going to the internet was for inspiration to help you get motivated. But instead of feeling motivated you feel bad. If you ignore this feeling you just get to keep on feeling bad every time, you go online to get your “motivation”. But, if you check inside, you may find that you are actually talking to yourself. Maybe you are saying something negative to the effect that you don’t look like that person, you never will, and then you feel bad. The part you are aware of naturally is the bad feeling, but not the subjective experience that lead to that feeling.
This month. I want to encourage you to think about how you are thinking. We will start with a very simple exercise that I think will help you understand a bit more how you are coding your internal world. Whenever you feel a feeling that you do not prefer to feel, ask yourself these questions:
1. How do I know to feel bad right now?
2. What am I seeing, hearing and feeling in order to generate this negative feeling?
3. Where specifically is this feeling in my body?
4. Am I talking to myself?
5. Is someone else talking to me? (Maybe you hear your mother’s voice scolding you, for example).
6. Am I making pictures in my mind’s eye? If so, what are they?
Jot down some notes and begin to get an understanding of what you are doing that is driving any negative feelings you have. Next month, we will explore in more detail how we can go about gently guiding our internal representations in ways that help empower us, make us feel good, and help us reach our goals.
Whether we are talking about how we think, or the training program itself, there is no magic pill. Thinking in positive, uplifting and empowering ways requires self-exploration. Getting in great physical shape requires commitment and dedication. Getting in great mental shape requires the same level of commitment and dedication.
Life is challenging enough when we disagree with our neighbors, children, bosses and spouses, but emotions can get downright ugly when we are in conflict with ourselves and experience dissonance. If you have ever heard yourself saying to someone else: “part of me wants to, but another part of me doesn’t”, then you know exactly what it means to lack congruence. Sometimes there isn’t even anyone else in the room and we play the mental dance. We try to negotiate, bargain, offer incentives, treats or a shopping trip. (My favorite) It all seems up to chance as to which side of the fence we will land on. But are our decisions a matter of chance, or something else? How can we become more effective at internal conflict resolution?
Internal Conflict Resolution
In my opinion, conflict arises out of not having clear enough or strong enough goals. In addition to that, not using our mental ability to visualize the future that our goals we strive for will create for us. If we use these assumptions as our starting point then two obvious ideas come to mind that will enable us to easily line up with the future we desire.
1.Create more inspiring goals.
2.Picture the goal as if it were already achieved.
OK, so this is goal setting 101, right? You know, create compelling goals and visualize yourself having achieved them. But let’s take it a step further. How can we do some quick and dirty conflict resolution without re-evaluating our entire life and contemplating whether or not we need to change our goals to something more interesting.
The technique is simple. You have two conflicting ideas. Since sometimes we say “on the one hand I want to…” Let’s actually hold our hand out and picture that thing in our hand. Then, you guessed it, hold out your other hand and imagine the other thing that you want in that hand. Now go ahead and have a back and forth conversation about it between your two “parts” take as much time as you need to allow each part to expresses their opinions fully. When you feel that there is no more to be said from one part to the other, face your hands toward each other and imagine what it would look like if the two parts were actually one. Then slowly bring your hands together and see and feel what is being created by combining your two previously conflicting ideas into one idea that tends to the underlying needs of both of your “parts”. Do this whenever you start to notice internal conflict. It is a fun and fast way to get to a resolution.